Why?
That’s the trillion dollar* question, isn’t it? Haunting really. If we just knew why, the world would make a lot more sense.
Why did Stroke Tom happen? Why did I go bankrupt twice and nearly three times? Why do I face such catastrophic struggles time and time again? Why me? Dear God why!
Whaaah!
Other people seem to float through life from one great success to another even greater success. I know people whose greatest concern is which car to drive and which restaurant has the best Sunday Brunch.
Of course, I couldn’t swear to it, but that’s what it looks like.
Not me though. I go broke. I have houses and cars repossessed. I lose jobs, corporations, business opportunities, good clients and now my health. “If you’ve got your health, you’ve got everything.” So, what have I got now?
If we could just figure out why, then we wouldn’t have to go through life like it was an old Bosnian minefield.
OK, I know some people have it worse than I do, but they don’t live in Orange County, California. It’s tough here. Except for the weather and maybe a couple other things.
Anyway, I now know with crystal clarity why I had Stroke Tom.
Not the medical answer, “Obviously, plaque built up in your arteries because of the diabetes and some broke loose and blocked the flow of blood to a portion of the left side of your brain. This killed the part of your brain which controls the right side of your body. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda.”
Yeah, I know, I’ve got a dead golf ball stuck in my head
No, now I know the real answer. The answer that you can work with to make sure this kind of thing never happens again.
Caution! This answer is so simple it may shock you. It did me when Penelope told me what our psychic friend told her. Remember she had called Penelope after I chose to live. Told her everything had changed. And I would make a full recovery.
Then our friend told my daughter I had to know why I had the stroke. I had to know so my stroke recovery could be complete.
Well, that month, first in ICU and then in Brain Stroke Recovery I was too busy to listen. I was busy learning how to walk with a lifeless right leg, talk so I could be understood, eat and drink without choking, dress, bath, shave, eat and take care of all my personal needs with my left hand alone.
I am grateful they never fitted me with a drool cup. Although I expected it. I guess the bib was enough. Boy did that take me back. Learning to eat isn’t nearly as much fun the second time around.
I think it’s one of God’s little jokes that stroke survivors often have to learn how to make use of their off hand. I’ve meet left handed folks that had the stroke on the right side of their brain, so they still had to use their off hand.
Penelope says she tried to tell me several times, but something always happened. A nurse came in to take my blood pressure or check my blood sugar. Or one of the other patients needed to talk to me. Something. Obviously, I wasn’t ready to hear it.
Now, here’s the thing, I knew the answer all along. Well, not the specifics, but the I knew the basics. In fact, if you read our first book or listened to me talk on the Rich Dreams or Quantum Selling sites, it’ll sound awfully familiar.
So, why all the build up? Because nobody ever really believes it. Or they don’t think it applies to them. We’re so used to living in a culture that demands physical proof, hard evidence and tangible and quantifiable results.
So, we miss the real nature of reality. We discount our feelings and ignore a simple yet fundamental truth.
“As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” (Proverbs 23/7) Or to paraphrase James Allen: We don’t attract what we want, but what we are.”
I knew the truth and I ignored it. I wrote books about it. I lectured about it. And yet, like so many I didn’t believe it. Not completely. Not deep in my core beliefs.
The simple reason why I had Stroke Tom is I asked for it. I had allowed myself to fall into the pit of “Stinkin’ Thinkin’.” I worried about the economy, politics, dire possibilities and my own perceived shortcomings.
I asked for Stroke Tom with my thoughts, my actions, my careless use of words and my ingratitude. And we get every single thing we ask for.
Always. It’s a Universal Law of Creation!
Now, I sure as hell didn’t write it on my list. I didn’t write: “God please give me a stroke. Paralyze the right side of my body. Make life harder than I ever imagined.” I didn’t have to.
My attitude spoke volumes.
You cannot imagine how hard it was for me to accept this truth. Let alone write it out for the world to see. But I asked for Stroke Tom. I am responsible. Not God nor doctors nor some random blood clot.
No! I stuck that dead golf ball inside my head. It’s on me and I accept it. I don’t like it, not one bit, but I accept it. It’s the only way I can move forward. It’s the only way to effect real change.
It’s the only way I can keep my Brain Stroke Miracle Healing alive.
That’s why.
• More to come
*That trillion dollar reference is an adjusted figure. When I was in high school it was the 64 thousand dollar question, but with inflation, internet billionaires and bank give-a-ways the amount has grown significantly with no corresponding increase in value.
{ 59 comments… read them below or add one }
Fantastic stuff, Tom. Your journey and your courage are helping me.
Getting my mind around the concept that I am 100% responsible for everything that happens in my life is monumental. I know in my soul that it is true, but part of my mind wants to block it out. It is amazing that the good and bad energies in life seems to battle it out in our minds. It is a struggle everyday to remain true to positive, good thoughts with so many negative influences in this world. We are worth the struggle and God Bless you Tom for reminding us that we create what we think about most. We all are worth the effort it takes to create good things and events.
Mark
Even after all the miracles that happened to you before the stroke, you still held doubts about your power?
For you to admit that – given how you made your living, at this stage deserves a ton of respect.
This story kind of has a biblical feel to it. Tom Pauley could quite easily be one of the characters in the old testament.
Dearest Tom :
Mark Potes above said all I wanted to say and perhaps in much better way. Thank you to both of you. I am still to let all these profound thoughts sink in to the core of my soul.
Love, light, prosperity. God Bless us all – now, always and forever Amen.
Shakuntala
I know what you’re going through, Tom. I had my stoke on June 25 of this year. I’m well on my way to complete recovery, though. The doctors told me I was lucky and I agree. I’m still amazed at the number of “coincidences” that occured to reduce the damage.
Tom:
I share with you this agony. I have created some pretty nasty stuff in my life as well, more from unconsciousness about certain things and needing healing in certain things.
When I was “shocked” into realizing that I had created a very negative event for me and my daughters, it was at the moment of learning the truth that a great fear overcame me. Because I’ve been working with these principles most of my life (and I’m 56) when this awareness of what had happened hit me I immediately felt guilty as if I’d done something “wrong.” Thankfully that left quickly.
While we do create our reality, and our 100% responsible for what comes to us — we’re not to blame. I know you know this because you “say” it all the time in all of your teachings.
Once these events happen to us that are major reality-shifting events for us, life becomes forever changed. But it is how we ultimately respond to these events that determines the type of people we really are at the core of our beings.
I want you to know Tom, that I honor your willingness to be vulnerable and open and willing to stand strong with your truth even in the face of such adversity.
It is no wonder to me that you are experiencing a miracle. It is because of who you are — your willingness to accept that — and your commitment to your truth that you are here now and able to shine like a beacon for others to see.
Namaste, I bow to the God within You.
Laurie
Dearest Tom,
Thank you for sharing your journey of life! You make a difference and I appreciate you!
Love and Light,
Mary Ellen
Tom,
Is tough when something negative happens to you, but its more when you know that you are the only resposible for that!
But as we atracted that negative thing we can atract one positive to take its place!
Thats my way to say that you’ll see, you’ll get better because you are such a positive person
God bless you Tom.
Claudio.
Be gentle. I think we need to take responsibility but not as a way to beat our selves up with yet a new whip. In this case it was like you talk about in Quantum Clearing 1 (see we can plug for you too), and your was not a choice, but an election by default.
God knows I have rode that horse many times myself.
Thank you for sharing and giving me so much to think about, like you always do. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. We support you on this plane and the quantum level as well, as you fall down and get back up again, and help us as we do the same.
I remember hearing a very wise man speak, and at the question and answer time, someone asked a question. He wanted to know when we are ‘done’ with all these challenging lessons. The man simply smiled and said……………… are you still alive; then you are not done.
We are all glad you are ‘not done’ and together we will continue to maneuver around lifes potholes together.
Much Love
V
Thanks again, Tom, for the candor of your story.
Now the big question for me is how does one stop that kind of negative thinking that you believe caused your stroke? It feels like a part of life…
Tom, you have such a special place in our hearts. Your humor, your candor, your utter honesty is just what this world needs.
I am at once sorry you had to create this for yourself and grateful to get your insights…even more grateful you would share them for all the world to appreciate.
It is interesting to me, as well, that you refer to Stroke Tom IN THE PAST TENSE, for the worst of it must surely be over and you DO NOT OWN the silly thing. People generally tend to refer to these issues as “MY (fill in the blank)” as if to be identified with a certain condition or ailment. If you OWN your dis-ease, you are pretty much saddled with all the junk that comes with it.
Please excuse me now, while I go create and manifest something wondermous.
HUGS,
Connie
http://motherconniesez.blogspot.com
I’m new to your information but not to the inner workings of the law of atrraction. I discovered this workk thru the Teachings of Abraham and have been hooked ever since. Bob Doyle posted a link to your information and I love this journey we are on together. Sometimes we do not want to except the fact that we do create our own experience but there is no evidence to the contrary! I love your openess and you healing process is evident. I sure you will touch many with your candid words. I appreceiate you so much!
Thx
Wynette
Dear Tom,
thank you so much for being so open and honest.
You nude truth is helping many of us, who are reading your blog, to search and get to this clarity in our hearts. That is vital.
You remind us, you wake us up “Go-go, look for it! There is the answer”
Thank you, my dear friend!
God bless you.
Svetlana
OK, ya got me, First time ever to leave any comment on a “blog”. SO I like the colors.
(I’m big on following directions!!!)
I do not know why this person has this or that, stroke or no stroke.
I am responsible to have a relationship in my prayer life with God, which, as I am a human being, will consist of me saying “I am sorry” over and over again. We live in an imperfect society and I am not “sure” of abundance theology unless everyone has the same opportunity. Why should I be given the special boots and the girl next door buys hers from the charity shop….I tell you why, because the boots will bring up my vanity and make me look again at why me?
Why not me….I am not special nor different, just there at the time,
what is important is that every relationship I have will it give me dignity when I pass from this world to the next? I love you and thank you for keeping up my spirits when I am afraid.
God Bless You and your loved ones….
Tom -
I am so inspired by your words. I know we bring into our lives what we ask for, even if we are not consciously aware of what we are asking for. I have met my share of negative outcomes in my life and each one of them is a lesson I must learn, we all must learn. As a yoga instructor I try to bring that awareness to my students, but sometimes I find myself not practicing what I preach. I get caught up in the why-me way of thinking and the energy I create affects every aspect of my life. I don’t believe I can change my life, I rather blame it to outside circumstances because it’s much easier to be the victim in my own life than taking charge and make a positive change.
Yours words have inspired me to take inventory of all the things I have attracted in my life and analyze as to where they came from. What place in my life I asked for this or that, and was it what I wanted. I know the right answer, deep in my heart I know what I have to change. I need to believe in my own power and put it to good use. Sometimes the lessons we must learn are hard to understand but believe me, they all have a purpose. Perhaps your purpose is to wake up all those souls walking around thinking life is not worth living, and to inspire them to make a change.
I wish you all the best in your recovery. Let Stroke Tom guide you and inspire you to bring out the best you can be.
Thank you so much for these posts. This latest one really resonates with me because it’s something I have recently been thinking a lot about (due, in no small part, to the fact I frequently listen to your mp3s =p) – that absolutely everything that exists in my life is my creation. There are things I am happy about, but other parts I want to be a lot better, and I’ve been trying to work out and accept the limiting beliefs I have so that I may move forward and change them into what I really want. Thank you so much for sharing, Tom. It is so reaffirming to connect with you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all that you do!
Much love to you and your family,
Gloria
Great Stuff. Just saw a video on Abraham regarding a similar situation of a guy that has one side of his face paralyzed. It is all about our thoughts and what we allow to slide into our minds.
Thank you for all you do for others. Keep living life.
Tom,
May I share…
In the ancient Sanskrit teachings of ECKANKAR, there is a place located on the inner planes {the one’s you visited during your time in ICU having your out of body experiences} called Hanardi.
Souls travel there via Soul Travel to bathe themselves in the orange healing light of the GOD force.
You can if you desire, just before dosing off to sleep at night, declare yourself a channel for the Divine ECK, {spirit/universe/GOD force} and invite the inner Master to come take you to HANARDI.
Sit or lay quietly and chant “HANARDI” slowly, over and over again. Think of your Soul body traveling inwardly to this very sacred place. When you arrive at the Golden gates bedazzled with millions of diamonds, rubies, sapphires, and lapis, knock and request entrance in the name of the SUGMAD, the true name of the Supreme ONE.
Request to be taken to the healing bathtub of orange light where the ECK Masters submerge you into the orange healing waters of Divine Spirit.
Ask for a healing, all the while in the attitude of “by Divine Right, Inspiration, Intervention, Timing, and if for the good of all concerned.”
Thank you for your good work. I appreciate the coaching and support you give as we all make our sojourn through this lifetime.
May the Blessing Be!
The link is not to my website, but to the official ECKANKAR website for those of you whom want to know more about this very high Spiritual Path.
Tom,
I purchased your book not long ago and starting tithing 10% on all my income. For me to actually follow a system like this says a lot about my faith in you and your words. I hope you continue grow, heal, and keep things simple for people like me.
Kurt
Tom- Thank you for sharing with the world your story. It takes courage to do that, but you have been courageous throughout all of your travails. Don’t stop teaching. We need your sage advise.
As far as the blog goes, I did not find anything wrong with the old one, and as someone once said, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
Hi Tom
I knew before you got to the point what you are were going to say.
I seem to have the same cycle of experiences. Not a stroke but up and down financially and cancer and when you are on the up again I just know I caused it because of worry, fear and so on.
Life if one big learning adventure and the trick is to stay happy and to check that if a worry pops up to not stay in that zone to long. Wishing you happy and worry free days.
Marian
Hello Tom and Thank You,
Sharing with the world this very personal insight and experience is very courageous indeed. You are stepping up to the plate in a much bigger way than you did in the past. Like me, you are finally accepting that there truly is something MUCH BIGGER than our small selves running the show. I have found, like you, that the more I accept, allow, trust and have faith that the inner voice I hear is to be listened to, the more the path opens for me to follow that voice, to follow my dreams, to step up to the plate with courage. Learning to discern the difference between that inner voice and the ego’s voice, is often trying, but over time it gets easier. It is wonderful to live with inner peace and calm versus the turmoil and torture that was a constant in my daily life. I wish for you a continuation of this revelation and new life you have been given. It truly is our mind and thoughts that create our dreams, but only when we allow our hearts to KNOW the truth will all the wonder of those dreams come to us in full bloom. Maybe not exactly as we “planned” but with even more blessings than we may have imagined. Love to you, Nancy
Hi Tom, I like the new colors, they give me a sense of peace and calm.
The teachers in life have always had to learn the lessons first so that they may pass on the answers to others…this is your path it seems.
May your path be filled with love, light, luster and prosperity.
Take care, God bless, and keep on creating miracles!
Syl
Hi TOM:
GUESS WHAT … TRUTH HURTS – YOU NEVER ACCEPT IT UNTIL YOU EXPERIENCES THE HURT THAT FEELS RIGHT. THANK YOU FOR THIS BLOG. I KNEW THAT WAS THE ANSWER BUT I HAD TO READ IT TO GET TO THE STATED TRUTH.
THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS TRUTH IN THE BLOG. YES, INDEED, WE ATTRACT WHAT WE ARE IN OUR CORE BELIEFS. GREAT LEARNING TOM. GOD BLESS YOU AND ALL OF US UNDER HIS WINGS. PERLA
Tom, thank you for being such an incredible inspiration in so many ways! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!
We do definitely create everything in our reality, and I accept that. Yet as you experienced, it’s SO easy to get sucked into the “stinkin’ thinkin’” and all we can do is keep working on ‘cleaning’ our subconscious of those unconscious blocks. We must be diligent with that, yet we must also focus on the POSITIVES even more… what we are grateful for, what we love, what we dream of being, doing, having. I appreciate you so much for your honesty and willingness to share your WHOLE truth with us!
Dear Tom – Never leave a comment (well, hardly) but you so deserve to be aware of how much this post has impacted me…a message I needed to hear. Thank you. You truly walk your talk. Your courage in your honesty…thank you. God bless you and keep you whole, safe and sound. Love MC
Bayethe!
Tom,
I wish you Grand and Beautiful thoughts. Heal well and heal quickly!
Three years ago, I did something very similar and I realized it after.
I was not in a happy place and kept telling myself for several months how I needed a break. Well, lo and behold, I fell off a stool on to concrete and broke my leg in half. A great wake up call. It took a year to walk without an aid and there are lingering effects,but I’m walking.
I’m happy that you’ve come so far in your recovery when they didn’t think you’d even make it. It’s also helpful reading your insights. Thank you.
Wow Tom you are amazing. Like Syl said the teacher must learn it first. How true. You are forging the path for the rest of us. I could never understand how our thinking had anything to do with it, but now this post has nailed it for me and is kind of scary because I have had a lot of “stinkin’ thinkin” lately. Now I can see why that needs to be changed and if you can share with us how that can happen we shall be on our way to and extraordinary life ahead of us.
As to your question I liked your other blog theme better.
Must success to your future recovery.
Renita
Thanks for this great article. I’ve been going thru the blahs too, and I know if I will start thinking more positively than things will start turning around for the better. May God bless you and your family. Betty
Tom – thanks for the encouraging post and I wish you all the best in your recovery. What you say in this post is something that I’ve known for 20 years, but, like you, I have not always lived it. When i was living it, my life was a miraculous flow that led me to where I am today… living in paradise in a position I never actually thought i would achieve… but, when I somehow lost the ‘flow’, when I started focusing on the pitfalls of the economy and the impact to my own situation, I started falling out of the ‘flow’ and came perilously close to losing the magic that got me here, and almost lost my ‘life’ here in paradise (I live on a tropical island and am a director of a company – both of which I had fantasized about, but both of which seemed highly unlikely 15 to 20 years ago when i was struggling though so many things in my life). So, thank you for this post. It helps to reinforce that life IS a miracle and that we direct it’s course through what we ‘are’, not just what we desire. Thanks again, good luck, and God Bless… G
So there you go again, Tom. Even when things are toughest for you, you give so-o much to everyone else, and just the thing that they (or I should say, I) need most and really already know from those things taught by you and so many enlightened others. Thank you, thank you, thank you. From the bottom of my heart.
Sorry, I don’t get it. Why did you have stroke? Because you wanted it? Because you had to prove yourself you really believe in this system?
The responsibility thing is obvious but there must have been a reason, a learning point. Please clarify. Thanks
Thank you Tom,
Knowing that you who talks the talk and walks the walk accepted that Stroke Tom was essentially down to yourself, gives me the strength to realise I can only really start from now where ever I may be. That my thoughts can be changed to the positive in an instant. Thank you Tom.
Best wishes for your blog and quick recovery for you.
Rui.
Tom,
I so admire your courage, your bravery and your honesty. I have a very hard time accepting that we bring all these things unto ourselves. You are dealing magnificently with a very hard truth and are an inspiration to us all. I am responsible for this dark place in my life right now; there must be a way out. You are finding your path; I must believe there is one for me too.
Thank you.
Hi Tom,
Wow. So good to read these updates on how you are doing. Your stroke recovery underscores that in addition to being spiritual beings inside a body, our bodies are also living inside our greater spirit. Your work about going into the Portal teaches this and now your personal life testimony proves it.
Tom, I was one of those who experienced your decision to come back, and was with you in the Portal when it all turned around. For you to come back was part of a greater reason for this to have happened, beyond even the thought that lead up to it.
I was happy to read your use of the expression in one of your blog entries, ‘like Lazarus of old’, because that was what transpired in the distant healing session Pen asked me to hold when you were in the coma. Yes our thoughts are powerful, but thankfully our spirit is more so. I love you!
Highest regards,
Donna
Thank you Tom
Thank you, Donna. I love you.
Simply fantastic ! God bless U always Tom.
Hi there Tom
I love the new colours – very contemporary and ‘now’ and soothing to the eye.
I think of you every day – your family are such a stength for me.
Thank you all
Heather Henigan (England)
Wow Tom, that’s a hell of an Insight you got there.
Tom,
Thanks for revealing so much of your recovery. It’s very helpful to read about this from your perspective.
Blessings to you on your journey!
Thanks Tom for the inspiring revelation. I know we are responsible 100per cent,but sometimes I wonder why the “bad” stuff seem to happen faster than the good ones.
maggie Kenya
HI Tom,
This post from you brings up more questions than answers. I don’t understand how this fits in with “Your sucesses are not your responsibility” and “Your failures are not your fault (or responsibility)” that come from the cool deck of cards in the Instant Abundance Tool Kit.
I will syay that I have had some serious health issues on and off in the last 6 years. I did conclude that I asked for it, but for entirely different reasons than you mentioned. Years before all the health issues came up I had written about “living to 100 years old or more in prime health and vitality”. I know that these diseasese I’ve had served the purpose to clean out my body and remake it so that intention will come true. I am doing some accurpressure work right now and from what I’ve seen and felt my whole body is being rewired and remade. Having said all this, I DID NOT HAVE 7 STROKES —- so the devestation was not the same.
I would love to hear back from you on any of these topics.
Hugs and Love (I am considering Farmville, now, unwilllingly)
Virginia
Tom, I certainly understand how that happened. March 18, 2009, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Okay, no one in my family has ever had it but as the doc says “it has to start some where.” But why was the some where me? For the same reason the stroke fairy touched you with her magic wand. I know now the why and I’m pretty sure how to prevent it from happening again. I’m so glad that you recovered. I’m glad I’ve recovered too. I’ve been breast cancer free for 71 days. WooHoo!
Hi Tom,
You’re so right…. it’s one thing to know something ‘intellectually’ but to know it deep in your heart, to live it and breath it everyday is a whole other thing, Thank You for what feels like a personal reminder.
WOW, I’m so touched, and suitably kicked in the proverbial. I spent yesterday feeling so grumpy, and let my brain go on a rolloercoaster of blame at my own expense
Emma
Tom,
Thank you for sharing your story, because without it, I may not have learned what I did in the past 36 hours. Today I was released from an overnight stay at the hospital for chest pains. I’m a healthy fifty year old woman and have never had chest pains before. I don’t say that glibly, before eye surgery this past August, I was totally checked out physically to be cleared for surgery.)
It has been a very stressful year personally and professionally. I thought I was doing well mitigating the stress by walking regularly and using meridan tapping exercises by Bob Doyle and Carol Look. As I lay in the hospital room yesterday, I remembered what you had written in this blog post and could see how I had brought this episode upon myself.
Even with the tapping exercises and writing in my manifesting spiral notebook about how calm and peaceful I was…I realize in hindsight, that many, many times I had thought to myself “I just want to escape or hide, go someplace that I wouldn’t have to worry about anyone else, deal with anyone elses problems and people would take care of me.”
Well, that’s exactly what I got. Here I was, all by myself, laying in hospital bed with a group of fine hospital personnel taking care of me. I had a great reason not to go to my stressful job or hear about anybody elses problems. I had gotten exactly what I thought about.
After I had figured that out, staying at the hospital was just putting in time. There wasn’t anything wrong with me except my stinking thinking (all the testing came back just fine.) This is the third confirmation I’ve had in the past two weeks that “what I think about is what I attract.” Without your insight from the blog above, I might have missed this lesson starring me in the face. Thanks so much Tom, you have helped me greatly. Good luck to you.
Colleen