Brain Stroke Recovery 11

Why?

That’s the trillion dollar* question, isn’t it? Haunting really. If we just knew why, the world would make a lot more sense.

Why did Stroke Tom happen? Why did I go bankrupt twice and nearly three times? Why do I face such catastrophic struggles time and time again? Why me? Dear God why!

Whaaah!

Other people seem to float through life from one great success to another even greater success. I know people whose greatest concern is which car to drive and which restaurant has the best Sunday Brunch.

Of course, I couldn’t swear to it, but that’s what it looks like.

Not me though. I go broke. I have houses and cars repossessed. I lose jobs, corporations, business opportunities, good clients and now my health. “If you’ve got your health, you’ve got everything.” So, what have I got now?

If we could just figure out why, then we wouldn’t have to go through life like it was an old Bosnian minefield.

OK, I know some people have it worse than I do, but they don’t live in Orange County, California. It’s tough here. Except for the weather and maybe a couple other things.

Anyway, I now know with crystal clarity why I had Stroke Tom.

Not the medical answer, “Obviously, plaque built up in your arteries because of the diabetes and some broke loose and blocked the flow of blood to a portion of the left side of your brain. This killed the part of your brain which controls the right side of your body. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda.”

Yeah, I know, I’ve got a dead golf ball stuck in my head

No, now I know the real answer. The answer that you can work with to make sure this kind of thing never happens again.

Caution! This answer is so simple it may shock you. It did me when Penelope told me what our psychic friend told her. Remember she had called Penelope after I chose to live. Told her everything had changed. And I would make a full recovery.

Then our friend told my daughter I had to know why I had the stroke. I had to know so my stroke recovery could be complete.

Well, that month, first in ICU and then in Brain Stroke Recovery I was too busy to listen. I was busy learning how to walk with a lifeless right leg, talk so I could be understood, eat and drink without choking, dress, bath, shave, eat and take care of all my personal needs with my left hand alone.

I am grateful they never fitted me with a drool cup. Although I expected it. I guess the bib was enough. Boy did that take me back. Learning to eat isn’t nearly as much fun the second time around.

I think it’s one of God’s little jokes that stroke survivors often have to learn how to make use of their off hand. I’ve meet left handed folks that had the stroke on the right side of their brain, so they still had to use their off hand.

Penelope says she tried to tell me several times, but something always happened. A nurse came in to take my blood pressure or check my blood sugar. Or one of the other patients needed to talk to me. Something. Obviously, I wasn’t ready to hear it.

Now, here’s the thing, I knew the answer all along. Well, not the specifics, but the I knew the basics. In fact, if you read our first book or listened to me talk on the Rich Dreams or Quantum Selling sites, it’ll sound awfully familiar.

So, why all the build up? Because nobody ever really believes it. Or they don’t think it applies to them. We’re so used to living in a culture that demands physical proof, hard evidence and tangible and quantifiable results.

So, we miss the real nature of reality. We discount our feelings and ignore a simple yet fundamental truth.

“As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” (Proverbs 23/7) Or to paraphrase James Allen: We don’t attract what we want, but what we are.”

I knew the truth and I ignored it. I wrote books about it. I lectured about it. And yet, like so many I didn’t believe it. Not completely. Not deep in my core beliefs.

The simple reason why I had Stroke Tom is I asked for it. I had allowed myself to fall into the pit of “Stinkin’ Thinkin’.” I worried about the economy, politics, dire possibilities and my own perceived shortcomings.

I asked for Stroke Tom with my thoughts, my actions, my careless use of words and my ingratitude. And we get every single thing we ask for.

Always. It’s a Universal Law of Creation!

Now, I sure as hell didn’t write it on my list. I didn’t write: “God please give me a stroke. Paralyze the right side of my body. Make life harder than I ever imagined.” I didn’t have to.

My attitude spoke volumes.

You cannot imagine how hard it was for me to accept this truth. Let alone write it out for the world to see. But I asked for Stroke Tom. I am responsible. Not God nor doctors nor some random blood clot.

No! I stuck that dead golf ball inside my head. It’s on me and I accept it. I don’t like it, not one bit, but I accept it. It’s the only way I can move forward. It’s the only way to effect real change.

It’s the only way I can keep my Brain Stroke Miracle Healing alive.

That’s why.

• More to come

*That trillion dollar reference is an adjusted figure. When I was in high school it was the 64 thousand dollar question, but with inflation, internet billionaires and bank give-a-ways the amount has grown significantly with no corresponding increase in value.