Brain Stroke Miracle Healing 8

by Tom Pauley on October 1, 2009

March 28, 2009 I was alone in my home writing when I noticed my mouse getting heavy.  Then my right leg got heavy.  I was having my first stroke.  I called 911 and was rushed to the hospital.  That was a minor stroke and about an hour later the ER doctor was about to release me.  While talking to my kids I had another stroke.  Then another and another and….  I had seven strokes before Sunday morning.

Along the way I had a monster stroke.  The doctors said they “thought they had lost” me.  That means I had no vital signs.

Lost, dead, kaput, sayonara.   Happy trails, cowboy; you’re heading for the that big roundup in the sky.

Naturally, they took full credit for keeping me alive.  And I’m truly thankful for their considerable efforts.  But what they didn’t know…what they couldn’t know was that I was still deciding whether I’d live or die.

Maybe I was better prepared to understand this experience because of my work in the Portal.  Maybe God wanted me to remember so I could tell you about it.  Maybe it’s good Irish luck.  Maybe all of the above.  I have no idea.

I remember waking Sunday morning in ICU, paralyzed and wired to a bank of electronic monitors.  I was choking on my own saliva and when I tried to speak strange guttural sounds had replaced my clear and powerful voice.  My beloved voice

The head neurologist was talking to my family.  I couldn’t make much of it out.  He seemed to speak in a foreign language.  It sounded like English, but his words made absolutely no sense at all.

A couple of months later Penelope told me what he said.  He said that I made it through the night, but this was as good as it would get.  One of the strokes was on the major artery in the left side of my brain.  That part of my brain was dead and, if I lived, I would never walk, speak, dress, or feed myself again.  That I’d never get out bed or read or write ever again.

My family spent the day with me.  A day of smiles and deeply sad eyes.  Except for Diane.  She didn’t hear a word the doctor said.  As she has for forty-one years she loved and believed in me.  We’d overcome so much together I’m sure she just thought this was another chapter in our lifelong adventure.  One from which we would emerge stronger than ever.

As they shuffled me off to more brain scans Penelope was on the phone to our psychic friends network.

In the morning she talked to a friend in South Carolina who said, “Tom’s in a very dark place right now.  He’s deciding between life and death.  You must tell him why this is happening.”

Our friend went on to explain why I had a stroke.  Again not the physical details, but the more important Quantum or spiritual reason.  The real reason.  The root cause.  The reason you can work with and change.  Otherwise bad things just keep on coming.

I did not, however, get that message.  I couldn’t.  My ability to process speech was zonkers.  I could understand the nurses in their break room 200 feet away with crystal clarity.  But I couldn’t get much of what was said in my room.

I was already out of my body and half way to the other side.  Afterlife retirement party here I come.

By this time healers, mystics, prayer groups and good people all over the world were going to bat for me with prayers, positive thoughts and healing energy.  My stroke had enlisted an army of love.  This army played a lead role in my Miracle Healing.  All that power directed at me…all that love literally changed my physical reality.

I was so close to leaving, but then I remember feeling a warm and strengthening wave wash over me.  It was like having your mother hold you and comfort you as a child, but even more powerful.  It was the first time in my life I’d known anything like it.  For the first time in my life I knew that other people loved me.  I knew my family loved me, but I never really felt loved or accepted by others.

If you’ve read any of the comments on this blog you’ll know that sounds crazy.  But it’s true.  My whole life I’ve felt alienated and alone.  That changed in one glorious moment as I was about to die.  It brings tears to my eyes even as I write this.

In a blinding flash I saw my possible life.  I saw the tough road to recovery, I saw my beautiful wife, my children, my grand children (including holding little Finn).  I saw all the people pulling for me, loving me.

And then, I saw my chance to play a role in the maturation of  humankind.  The remaking of our society into a peaceful, caring, generous civilization.  The next inevitable stage in the evolution of the world.  These are things I’ve dreamed to be part of since that day in my Uncle Herman’s study when I was nine.

Although where I was I had no physical body, I began to glow with a bright cerulean blue essence. All your love gave me the strength to see my choice clearly.

This is the day ancients dreamed of seeing.  King David offered up his life to live now if only for a minute.  How could I leave?  Without an instant of further hesitation I chose to live.

And here’s the crazy part in that instant everything changed.  I saw it change.  I was flooded with color.  Colors filled my being.  Colors I’d never seen before.  Mesmerizing colors filled with wonder and hope  and comfort and melody and healing.  Miracle Healing.

About 4:00 p.m. Sunday they took me for one more MRI just to be sure.  By then I’d decided to live.  By then everything had changed.

We didn’t see the results of the MRI till the next morning, but I knew.   Penelope got another call from South Carolina as she left that evening.
“What’s happened?” Our friend said.  “Everything’s changed.  He’s surrounded by light.  He’s decided to live and it looks like a full recovery.”

The next morning the Doctor said he had good news.  The strangest thing happened.  He didn’t know how to explain it.  Must have been a mistake in the first seven brain scans.  He’d never missed something like this before.  But the good news is the dead spot in my brain is not on the main artery after all. “It seems to have moved,” he almost said.   “He may have some recovery after all.”

Diane didn’t hear that either.  She knew I’d pull through.  I had work to do.  I was needed.  She needed me.  Besides I wouldn’t leave her without saying goodbye.

Of course, that still leaves the bigger question.  Why did this stroke happen in the first place?  Why do bad things happen to good people?  Did I ask for it?  Remember you get what you ask for.  You ask and the Universe delivers.  Who would ask for something like this?  That’s nuts.

Thank God I now know the answer.  And, I seemed to have resolved the cause.  Finally.  I’m much more at peace these days.  Perhps I’ll write about that soon.  Maybe that’s something for next time.  First I need to process what I just wrote.

{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Lorna Blake October 1, 2009 at 4:18 pm

Hi Tom,

I got goose bumps reading this latest blog! I kept saying “Oh, my God.” It touched me to read that while you always knew you were loved by your family you’d never felt accepted by others.

I’ve always been drawn to your genuineness and sincerity and here you’ve gone beyond to baring your very soul as you crossed the chasm between this life and the next.

Your recovery is nothing short of a miracle! I can’t wait to learn more. Keep sharing it.

Blessings to you, Diane and the entire RD team,

2 Veronica Hay October 1, 2009 at 4:23 pm

Wow, if this were a book, I would not be able to put it down. I am captivated, enthralled, mesmerized. Each post gets better and better as your amazing story unfolds for all the world to see.

You write so beautifully Tom. Thank you for sharing this adventure with all of us here.

Until next time, next post, I wish you Godspeed on your journey.

Love and blessings, Veronica Hay

3 penny layne October 1, 2009 at 4:43 pm

Yes, LOVE is the answer….some of us get it sooner than others.
(the sooner the better to avoid “unwanted” enlightment.

4 Christine Allon October 1, 2009 at 6:43 pm

Hey Tom – this is indeed an amazing story – i too have been enthralled to read it.
I have a small glimmering of the love and acceptance you felt: four years ago i did a water meditation with a group of friends. The leader of this meditation is a Watsu practitioner. She offered to give a short Watsu and the group voted for me to receive it as i’d organised our group. It was such a mind-altering experience, i decided then and there i HAD to train to become a practitioner myself. I finished my water based work in Mexico in January 2009. You live in California – if you have never experienced Watsu, please try it! (
I am gradually spreading the word in Canberra Australia – i’m one of less than a dozen practitioners in the 6th largest country in the world!
I’m in suspense for your next installment!
Aquatic hugs
Christine *->

5 Christine October 1, 2009 at 6:48 pm

I also meant to say – if it’s not common wisdom, it is certainly uncommon wisdom!

6 Jane October 1, 2009 at 8:01 pm


I agree with Veronica, your story is spellbinding, as good as a Tom Clancy novel – no even better, because this is true and you have a truth to share with those (of us) who are ready to listen.


7 Kate October 1, 2009 at 9:34 pm

Tom, every time you say…”I nearly didn’t post/publish/write this…” I know it will be something GOOD!

Keep on posting those un-postable lessons of yours!



8 robert alleger October 2, 2009 at 12:35 am

Agreed here too!

I can’t put these articles down, yet you know to well how to cliff hang!

Good for you, Diane! Don’t listen to the doctor’s prattle!

9 Shakuntala SB October 2, 2009 at 1:18 am

Dear Tom :

Thank you for this amazing insight into God’s wonders. Thank you for coming back.

BTW, it is close to 10 years now that i am facing health problems which has affected my mobility and doctors have given up long back. It is now more than a year that i am lying on my bed on my back (no turning over) and i am having some questions about it.

I know i am in almighty God’s lap but a little more insight, especially from the “psychic friends network:” you wrote about above (who assessed correctly) will greatly help in my own journey in life.

I will be happy to provide any details you require about me. If possible, please do reply.

You are a loved and treasured messenger of God as is your wonderful family. God bless us all – now, always and forever. Amen,
Shakuntala SB

10 Kathy McCarthy October 2, 2009 at 3:13 am

Oh Tom – your Irish luck is simply the inherent belief in the “little people” which fosters the belief in all things are possible. You are a true bard brought back to spread that wonderful belief in to all. Thank you for sharing your song.

Love you all – Hope to be back in the “loop’ soon.

Kathy in Connecticut

11 JAMES SMILLIE October 2, 2009 at 3:23 am


12 John Barker October 2, 2009 at 12:48 pm

Tom -

It’s wonderful to hear where you’re at given all that you’ve been through.

Sometimes God needs to put dramatic acts into our life to bring us to our full glory and potential. This story, this experience, only makes your message more powerful. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through what you’ve gone through, but what a gift in the big picture.

All the best to you and your family, John

13 Syl October 2, 2009 at 1:09 pm

It seems to me that when you have a mission you don’t do it in any small way, but by jumping in with both feet, full body, and full commitment :)

Glad to hear you are feeling better and better with every day that passes. Kudo’s to your family and all of us who held you with love in your time of need.

Love and blessings to all,

14 Steve & Rita Shurtliff October 2, 2009 at 2:19 pm

HI Tom,

Your story is nothing short of an absolute miracle. Yet, it appears we may be coming to an age where miracles will be a bit more usual. Leading the way is something I believe is natural for you.

Looking forward to hearing more.

Much Love
Steve and Rita Shurtliff
Sparks, NV

15 Jillian and Dempsey October 2, 2009 at 5:06 pm

We’re catching up finally on reading your blog (as you know, we’ve been up to our necks in activity lately). Beautiful writing, as always,
dear friend.

We love you.

16 linda October 4, 2009 at 2:51 am

Hello Tom,

Thank you Tom for being an inspiration. My mother sadly passed away only 2 weeks ago today. Its been a hard couple of weeks, but reading this Tom it has given me comfort. The day before my mum passed away I noticed her face was like she was fed up with life and she had had enough.

Tom I realise totally what the power of positive thought can do. There was nothing I could do for my mum apart from be there for her, but I now it is up to each and every one of us for our own thoughts and reasons for being on this physical plane. Tom thank you foryour honest and truthful feelings about how you feel and felt. I know my mum is now happy and at peace.

Thank you thank you.

Linda x

17 Tina October 6, 2009 at 1:14 am

Hello Tom,
I wish to let you know that the Brain Stroke Miracle Healing story is the most Inspiring story for me this Year.
I started visiting your website for a different reason and i have learned a lot. I have changed my words,changed my world and now i am shaping my future.

Your decision to live and not die so that you could do the work you are doing is indeed remaking the society of which i am part into peaceful, caring, generous civilizations.Thank for all the sacrifices you are making for me.
Stay blessed
Tanzania, East Africa

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